We are almost halfway through the summer…can you believe it? Me either. In Kansas, we go back to school in mid-August, so July sort of feels like the beginning of the end. As a work-at-home mom for the first time, I was pretty terrified of summer. I’ve been super-lucky to have a packed work schedule, which I know is a huge blessing for a first time business owner, but to be honest, it’s been overwhelming. As I’m just starting out, I tend to say yes to every opportunity, because I’m not sure when another one will be coming my way. So far, my professional life feels very much like feast or famine. I am either so busy I don’t have time to sleep or eat or breathe….or I have absolutely nothing to do.
I’m so, so grateful we were able to find good childcare for the summer. I wouldn’t have survived this otherwise. In June alone I’ve had multiple photo sessions, my first art show opening, a trip to NYC for a photo shoot, I’ve assisted for other photographers on shoots and taught my first blogging workshop. We’ve also tried to make family time a priority, with a week long trip to western Kansas and a weekend at the lake. While all of these opportunities are AMAZING, I would have simply drowned without the help of our babysitter. She is flexible with my nutty schedule and the kids love her.
Before I started this journey, I used to think work-at-home moms were the luckiest of all. They got to work AND be home with their kids. It was the best of both worlds! Right?! And while I am the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’m sure this schedule is the best for our family, there are still challenges. When Tate knocks at my office door, begging for me to come play with him. When Lucy says she’d rather I took them to the pool instead of the sitter so I could watch her do her new trick off the diving board. When the sitter leaves and I still find myself with a pile of work left uncompleted. When all I want to do is go to sleep, but there is a deadline looming and the house is finally quiet for the night. When I feel like instead of getting the “best of both worlds,” I’m getting the worst.
But if there is one thing I’ve learned during this journey, it’s don’t concentrate too much on the negatives, because the situation could be completely different tomorrow! Working for myself has given me the opportunity to try so many new things, I never know what is coming next. And that’s true with mothering as a work-at-home mom too. Some days feel perfect, and some days feel awful…but mostly what I feel is that blissful in between. Not quite perfection, but not the absolute worst either. Just purely okay. And for now, that’s enough.