Crazybananas

When I was eight-years-old, my parents forced me to switch from my fun, open-minded public school to a conservative Catholic school. My little brother was about to start kindergarten, and he was, well, a bit difficult. My parents were afraid that he would get lost in the public school system, and since they wanted their kids to go to the same school, I had to move as well. My first year I absolutely hated it. There was praying and church and political talk for second graders. There were old computers and bad music equipment since our school was not funded by the state. Photos of Jesus peered down from every corner, daring you to sin. And the kids were just plain mean. Sure, I had a few friends here and there, but most everyone had formed tight cliques from their first day of kindergarten and were fairly unwilling to let a new, dorky, blond, space shuttle t-shirt wearing girl into their groups. It didn’t help that I was about a foot taller than everyone in my class. I was the epitomy of a geek.

In third grade there was a girl in my class I hadn’t met before. She was loud. And talkative. And she never shut up. Did I mention she was loud? But she was so nice to me, space shuttle t-shirts and all. Her name was Theresa and we became fast friends. If I was a smarter woman, I’d have an illustrative photo to put underneath this paragraph, but I’ve been busy and my scanner is broken, so you all will just have to visualize the vast dorkiness that permeated our friendship. She of the black, rimmed glasses and I of the buck teeth. I’m amazed we weren’t child models.

You can’t tell, but this is our class picture. I’m in the bottom row looking all emo. Please note Jesus menacingly staring over her shoulder…shudder.

Through the years we’ve had our ups and downs, both personally and within our friendship. But for some reason, she still stayed my buddy, even when she moved to the homeland, my most coveted New York City. She is the kind of friend that I don’t see all that often, maybe once a year, but will send me a letter on mother’s day congratulating me on becoming a wonderful mother. She is the kind of friend who will go an hour out of her way on a random Wednesday because I call her and tell her my favorite internet writer will be at a bar in Brooklyn signing autographs and could she get one for me. And she is the kind of friend that forgave me when I had to make an impossible choice between her and another important person in my life. A person that understood why I had to make the decision I did and even though she was hurt, comforted me about my choice. A person who, in the sea of conservative balony that is the state of Kansas, was a liberal. Someone I could actually have a political discussion with and not want to rip out my eyeballs and feed them to my dog.

Work it. Totally fierce.

Gah, now I’m getting all weepy!

A few years ago Theresa and I got into one of our discussions about marriage. She, personally, never wanted to get married. She didn’t feel she wanted or needed marriage or some guy to fulfill her life. She wanted to join the Peace Corps and do amazing things and travel, and she felt that wouldn’t be possible if she was married. She didn’t want kids or a life that held her back from the good she could do in the world. And (in my opinion) she didn’t think she deserved to have it all.

[Insert requisite joke about them being really hot here]

But then she met Jonathan. A sweet, shy architect in NYC who swept her off her feet. He wasn’t an alcoholic, workoholic, sexaholic, commitment-phobic, peeping tom, megalomaniac, emotional fuckwit, or pervert. And her ideas about marriage slowly started to change.

Tomorrow we head off for our weekend adventure in NYC to attend what I’m sure will be a gorgeous wedding. I mean, who has a wedding reception on the great lawn of Central Park? Seriously, who does that? Answer, that girl in the black rimmed glasses who never believed in marriage. I believe Hell has frozen over.

This picture has nothing to do with anything. I just thought it was a great group costume idea. Halloween, 2007, The Kennedy Family. L to R: Teddy, Jackie O, JFK, John John and Marilyn. I’m also posting to show the awesomeness that is Theresa’s sister’s hair. I am quite jealous of her cool factor. Mine is currently at negative 2 and in need of a boost!

All photos stolen borrowed from Theresa’s Facebook page, therefore causing me to reactivate my Facebook account. Damn you, Theresa!

In two weeks we cross the threshold…Lu turns two. Help me, God. If yesterday was any indication, we’re in for a long year. I spent most of a park play date running this way and that way and the other way chasing my little angel all over the place. I’d be in mid-sentence when she’d see an airplane or bird or imaginary flying pony and yell, “Airplane, I catch it!” and run off chasing said object with her hands high in the air. As soon as she saw me following her she’d turn on hyper-drive and zoom as fast as her chubby, bruised legs would take her until I’d either catch up or she’d run out of steam. I think I scared the crap out of the poor mom with the five-month-old, who was probably wishing she had done a background check before setting up a playdate with a psychotic almost-two-year-old.

We’ve decided this year we won’t be having a big party for Lu. While I know it made some family a little crabby, it just wasn’t going to work for us. This whole month has been totally packed, and with our upcoming obligations and trips, there was just no way to plan some big fiesta. Plus, she’s two, not twenty, and she’d be happy with a bucket of mud for her birthday!

I do want to do something nice for her big day, maybe take cupcakes to school. It will be her last week at her current daycare, as once she’s two she is moving to the preschool where they will teach her Russian and ballet (you think I’m kidding, but I’m totally not). I want to do something fun and nice, but don’t have much time (see above paragraph). I’m thinking I’ll make cupcakes or cookies and maybe some cute party favors for her to take to school. While looking for inspiration online I found some ideas that are so cool, but totally daunting. Maybe I can just look at the pictures and pretend I made them?

Nursery rhyme cupcakes by Christine Hamilton. More can be found here.

(Found via ohdeedoh)

Today I am fulfilling a dream that has lasted almost three years. In the summer of 2005, my friend Mikayla suggested we get together a group of friends and form a team to compete in Kansas City’s Pub Crawl for Cancer. Yes. Pub crawl. For cancer. Basically, a whole bunch of 20-somethings get together in teams and go from bar to bar. At each bar the teams are required to drink four pitchers of beer before proceeding to the next bar on your list, with five bars total per team. That’s 20 pitchers of beer, people! And as a 22-year-old slacker, it sounded like the most fun that would ever be had. Ever.

But as the date for the pub crawl neared, I missed a period. And another. And, whoops, I was pregnant. You all know the rest of the story (which ended very well thankyouverymuch), but suffice to say I did not make it to the pub crawl. I spent that day with Trent’s mother, planning my wedding and picking up my husband, Mikayla and other crawl team members from the bars when they could no longer walk. Fun times.

But today I will finally get to participate in drinking my weight in alcohol for a good cause. Technically, it’s a work event and I will probably be the oldest person in attendence, but hopefully it will be at least some fun. I realized how old and worn I was when I woke up this morning dreading going to this event and just wanting to go to the park with Lucy instead. Ah well.

I’m planning on live-Twittering the event, this way even if I am a big loser I will look extremely important texting on my cell phone. Right? Check out my Twitter feed and play how drunk is Megan. I hear it’s a hit in retirement homes.

First, watch this.

Holy hell! Are you laughing or crying? Myself, a little bit of both. I just love watching over the hill pop stars try to reclaim their glory days. And who are all those young girls in the audience? Do they even know who the New Kids are? Does anyone else find that a bit creepy?

I was one of the unlucky few that never got to see the New Kids in concert when I was a kid. Though I did play my cassettes so many times that it felt like my own private concert in my grandma’s basement. Now they are going back on tour and coming to KC in November…who’s coming with me??? Mara, I’m talking to YOU!

The California Supreme Court used common sense yesterday and overturned their state’s gay marriage ban. Though I’m sure today will be full of religious zealots on cable “news” claiming the end of humanity, let’s all tune them out and enjoy! Why gay marriage is illegal in the first place is very confusing to me (because then we’ll start having sex with animals…really?), so I’m glad learned and wise people have finally decided to agree with me. I knew they’d realize my higher intelligence eventually.

What are others saying about this ruling? Well, I’m sure somewhere Rush Limbaugh is drowning his sorrows in oxycodone, but I’d rather hear some more positive voices:

Ellen DeGeneres:
“I’m thrilled that the California supreme court overturned the ban on gay marriage. I can’t wait to get married. We all deserve the same rights, and I believe that someday we’ll look back on this and not allowing gays to marry will seem as absurd as not allowing women to vote.

P.S. I’m registered at Crate & Barrel.”

T.R. Knight:
Our ‘certain inalienable rights’ are protected today. It makes me proud to live in a country that works to correct its sins.”

Melissa Etheridge:
“I feel they have made an honest woman of me. What a wonderful blessing for us and the gay community. We’re moving forward. It makes me feel happy for the whole human race that we are finally getting out of our differences and coming together and we are putting this all behind us. It really is going to be the thing that we talk to our kids and our grandkids and say, ‘That was the olden days — wasn’t that ridiculous?’”

Marc Jacobs:
” Who to love and how to love should be up to the individual or the couple. Enough said!”

Read more about this landmark ruling here, here, here, here or read the entire court document here.

Updated to Add: This is the best thing I’ve seen regarding this decision. I even teared up a little. So great! Yeah California!

I started my list of 100 things I want to do before I’m 100 a few months back. Honestly, it was a bit of a cop out. I had just started my new job and was dried up as far as content ideas for this site, so I wrote out a huge list of things I want to do someday. Then, when I had nothing else to write, I would post five or ten of these things at a time. Really, it was all about laziness. Which should be the new tagline for the blog: Crazybananas, it’s all about laziness.

I never kept track of how many things I’d written, just hoping I’d be able to come up with 100 at the end of this whole endevour. Turns out, when I looked back, I had written exactly 95. Yesterday I sat down and attempted to finish up my list. But, CRAP, it was hard. How do I come up with five more things, when I’ve already listed 95? How do I fit everything else I want to do into only five things? Quite the quandry.

In the end, this is what I came up with:

95. Attend a big movie premiere
96. Have a piece of art in a gallery showing
97. Make $100 off of my online writing
98. Live in Europe and take the train to faraway locations during vacation
99. Retire and live a life of leisure
100. Do something that changes the world for the better

You can view the entire list right here, and it will also be posted under my About Me section and on the right hand sidebar of the homepage. I plan to continue to update my list as I accomplish things and am able to cross them off. And I WILL accomplish them, even if Trent hates horses and swears we shall never own one! I noticed that many of my ideas involve travel of some kind, and I wonder why that is? I never thought of myself as a person that craved travel and exploration, but apparently I don’t know myself very well! Have any of you tried to write a list like this? What surprised you?

For those of you who hate to click on links (why is that, exactly?) below is the list in it’s entirety.

1. Learn to play the guitar
2. Purchase my own house
3. Get my scuba diving certification
4. Visit all 7 continents
5. Skydive
6. Get over my fear of boats by going on a cruise
7. Learn to snowboard
8. Blog everyday for a month
9. Write and publish a fiction novel
10. Take Trent to Amsterdam and eat lunch on the lawn of the Van Gogh Museum
11. Give a stranger $100 on Christmas Eve
12. Go on a honeymoon
13. Own and train a horse
14. People watch at the duomo in Florence with Lucy
15. Take the train to St. Louis from Kansas City
16. Stand underneath a waterfall in a tropical location
17. Take photos of someone famous
18. Attend a taping of the Oprah Winfrey show
19. Vote for a woman for president
20. Give a speech honoring my dad
21. Grow my own cantaloupe like when I was a kid
22. Spend a day at a spa
23. Play in a real rock band
24. Buy a brand new Mac computer
25. Send my daughter to college
26. Work on a horse ranch
27. Go white water rafting
28. Teach Lu how to ice skate
29. Report from a foreign country for NPR
30. Live in a “green” home
31. Turn off my phone for a day
32. Organize a family reunion
33. Go on a mother/daughter trip with Lucy, my sister and her daughter
34. Pay back my and Trent’s parents for all they’ve done for us
35. Ride a camel
36. Attend P. Diddy’s white party
37. Be content in my life
38. Cross 50 items off this list
39. Buy a very expensive pair of shoes just because they are pretty
40. Take a university level design or photography class
41. Hold a leadership position in local politics
42. Take Lucy to the circus
43. Teach English at a school abroad
44. Visit Washington DC
45. Attend a political rally
46. Donate to charity anonymously
47. Drink wine in Central Park
48. Renew my vows on a beach
49. Live in a house on the Italian Coast
50. Reconnect with an old friend
51. See the Earth from space
52. Get my masters degree
53. Hug a koala bear
54. Visit the Grecian ruins
55. See a Broadway play
56. Sell a piece of photography
57. Go to New Orleans during Marti Gras
58. Cook every night for 7 days
59. Drink a pint in an Irish pub
60. Find out about my lineage and visit where my family comes from
61. See my mom’s old house in South Chicago
62. Ride in a rickshaw
63. Throw a keg party
64. Write a screenplay
65. Learn to bake apple pie
66. Go camping with the family
67. Learn to surf
68. Raise Lucy to become a strong, independent woman
69. Have more kids
70. Take a road trip of the United States in an RV
71. Run a marathon
72. Gamble in Vegas
73. Kiss Trent at the Eiffel Tower
74. Visit the Grand Canyon
75. Volunteer in a third world country
76. Live in New York City
77. Have a girls vacation with friends
78. Throw Lucy a sweet sixteen birthday party
79. Surprise Trent with a gift for no reason
80. Throw an elegant dinner party
81. Relearn how to speak fluent Italian
82. Attend a wedding in India
83. Ride an elephant
84. Learn how to fly an airplane
85. Meet a famous blogger
86. See the pyramids in Egypt
87. Hike through a tropical rain forest
88. Make enough money to support my family DONE - February 2008
89. Take Trent to Cinque Terre and go on a hike there
90. Visit Canada
92. Drink a fancy cocktail on the roof of an apartment building in NYC
93. Go to therapy
94. Go for a week without checking email
95. Attend a big movie premiere
96. Have a piece of art in a gallery showing
97. Make $100 off of my online writing
98. Live in Europe and take the train to faraway locations during vacation
99. Retire and live a life of leisure
100. Do something that changes the world for the better

This past weekend I was finally able to meet the gorgeous Carson James Young. And holy crap, is that little guy the cutest baby on the planet! It was such a cool experience, seeing my friends Abbie and Luke tackle the role of parenthood. Trent and I just kept looking at each other like, yup, I remember that. And that. Oh, and that too. Caring for a newborn should be an Olympic sport, it’s so difficult, but so far Luke and Abbie seem to be taking everything in stride. Unlike a certain blond mother I know who spent the first few weeks of her daughter’s life crying and wondering how in the world someone could allow her to take home this baby from the hospital without a proper license. (Sidenote: Is that the biggest sentence fragment you’ve ever seen? Yeah, me too.)

In between begging Trent for another baby and plotting how I could fit little Carson into my suitcase to take him home with me, I did manage to get a few photos. Unfortunately, wonderful borrowed lenses don’t help too much when you have the crappiest flash on planet Earth, but I still tried to make the best of it. Overexposure is the name of the game, people!

You can view the entire set below, or by clicking here.

This weekend I had several fun ideas on how I would celebrate Mother’s Day. There was one idea in particular that made me so excited I thought my face would freeze due to excessive amounts of smiling. I had booked a massage appointment.

For me. Not for my husband (although he ended up with one as well). Not a gift for someone else. Me, me, me!

I couldn’t believe how cheap massages were in my hometown. Even though I live in a cottage that looks like it may crumble to the groud and be devoured by ants, I technically live in a fairly wealthy part of Kansas City, so massages are always pretty pricey. When I called for pricing in my hometown I almost fell out of my chair. And then I booked my appointment. A lovely hour massage. Oh, and as a special Mother’s Day treat, rose petals would be “incorporated” into the massage. “Incorporated” apparently means a last minute trip to the grocery store, buying a cheap bouquet of red roses, ripping the petals off and throwing them on the massage table. Mmmmm…relaxing.

Until the evening after the massage when I felt a bit, well, uncomfortable. Itchy. So I scratched. A few spots on my upper left arm, no big deal. Until I looked twenty minutes later and my entire upper arm was covered in hives. Well, that’s not good, is it? I figured I probably had a spring allergy attack or something, took some Benadryl and moved on with my life.

But then the next day the itchies were back. This time on my other arm. Strange, I thought. When I got back to KC, I decided to take a nice, warm shower and wash off whatever was making me so itchy. I figured maybe it was the massage lotion, as that was the only product that I’d use different from my normal routine. I’d just wash it off and take my tired butt to bed. In the shower I scratched my upper legs a bit, then felt the burning. Like my legs were on fire. I quickly turned off the shower and jumped out. I ran into the dining room stark naked and yelled for Trent. “Oh my god! My legs are burning! My back! My stomach!”

Trent walked into the room, took one look at me and his face dropped. My entire body was covered in hives. My legs were swollen up about an inch where I was scratching them, and the rest of me was red and bumpy as well. My skin felt like it was being burned off. Trent covered me in Benadryl cream and threw me out on the back porch into the cold air, while he shielded my naked butt from the neighbors. As the cool air hit my skin, I began to calm down. The burning subsided and I stopped panicking. Then Trent did what any good husband would do. Got me a giant glass of wine.

Turns out I had a reaction to the chemicals used to keep those lovely red roses looking fresh. Basically, I had an allergic reaction combined with a chemical burn. As long as I don’t touch my body when it itches or take showers, I feel fine. But I smell of Benadryl cream and two days of not showering. Happy Mother’s Day to me! Next year, I’m asking for a pony instead.

My mother’s day weekend was OK. Not good, merely fine. We spent the weekend at the farm and even got to spend a good amount of time with my dad. My daughter was wonderful, although she had no idea what day it was. My husband didn’t forget about the day AND bought me a gift. I was able to have a nice dinner with Lu’s grandmother and some other family members. And I finally got to meet gorgeous baby Carson, which was so fun. I swear, seeing your big, bearded husband cuddling with a seven pound baby is enough to make your uterus explode!

Unfortunately there was a good amount of sadness as well. I won’t get into all the details here, but let’s just say the weekend ended with tears for several different reasons. If you check out my Twitter feed, you can see some of the more trivial reasons. The serious ones were a bit much to be Twittering about.

Thursday, before I set off on my weekend excursion, I drug my daughter and poor, innocent, hungover Mikayla all around KC to take some two-year-old photos of Lu. I really wanted to show the urban, lively part of the city, so even after we move to the horrid suburbs, Lu can look back and know she was once a city kid. Some of my favorites are embedded below, and there is a slideshow at the bottom of this post. You can view the entire set of photos here.

This one is my favorite. I LOVE the colors and the whole mood of the photo. Classic Lucy. Taken on Southwest Boulevard in Kansas City, Missouri.

This is another personal favorite, although I’m sure not everyone will like it. I really like the motion within the photo and the skyline of Kansas City in the background. Seems very urban, but sweet at the same time. Taken at the Liberty Memorial in Kansas City, Missouri.

This is the photo that will go to the grandparents. Sweet, a little grungy, but full of sugar. Taken on Southwest Boulevard in Kansas City, Missouri.

Check out the entire set below. Seriously, do it. There are a ton of good shots and I think it shows what a beautiful city we live in. Oh, and the model was pretty cute as well.

I’m out of the Internet for the next few days. I have a business trip that will quickly turn to pleasure when I FINALLY get to meet baby Carson! I’m so excited to hear little squeaking baby noises and smell yummy baby scents. It will be a nice change from toddler screaming and the smell of a poopy diaper that has been removed and thrown about the house. I probably won’t blog much, as it’s been a tough few weeks and I need some alone time to reflect and relax. Don’t worry, I will probably return on Monday with something new to complain about.

I will, however, be Twittering the entire weekend. Because I’m getting a new phone and I think I am addicted to the Internet. Do they have a rehab for that? Whatever. I can quit any time! I swear!

You can find me on Twitter here or you can just check out my progress on this site underneath my favorite photos on the left hand side of the page.

Crazybananas, out!