Oh, baby

First off, yes, a kitten did disappear. Yes, Molly could have eaten it. Though I tend to live in my little dream world where my horrible dog did not eat a defenseless kitten, but instead scared it and it is hiding somewhere no one can find it.

Second, I am starting to grow a bit. If Trent were here he would tell all of you that I’ve been growing this whole time and I’m just exaggerating on the newly aquired growth, but I would then tell him to be a quiet and obidient husband like we vowed. My FAVORITE (and pretty much only) good pair of jeans are beginning to become painful to wear. Boo.

I am also starting to think a bit more about this whole giving birth thing and how awfully scary it is and how even when I say to other mothers, “It’s not that bad, right” they all just roll there eyes or twitch nervously. Not a good sign.

Of course I’m basing all of my education on birthing this here baby on what my doctors and nurses and parents tell me, but mostly, I’m basing it on dooce. Why? Because she makes me feel like although this is really gonna suck, it will be totally worth it.

If she’s wrong, I will be understandably upset.

Uploading Bonanza

I know I promised a lengthy story about the wonder of my wedding day and the magic of being betrothed to my formerly bearded wonder, but if you’ve ever been pregnant, you’ll know why I haven’t. The list of things to do, people to thank, rooms to clean, is about a mile long and I only have the energy to do one daunting task a night. Last night, it was uploading my sister’s wedding pics to flickr (as you can see on the right). I was going to do some great wonderful entry with a lovely photo of Trent and I staring into each others eyes as we jump into the snake pit that is marriage, but I was TOO DAMN TIRED!!! Now I see why pregnant women bitch so much about work. 9 hour days with no break leads to pregnant girl coming home, eating pizza and sitting on couch watching the WB. Last night I also finally began reading all these pregnancy books that are supposed to be my “bibles” for the next 6 months and found that I am the worst mother ever! How dare I skip breakfast or not take frequent breaks! My poor baby is going to be so screwed up!

So then I was crying and upset about how screwed up my baby was going to be and then I just didn’t have time to go through Flickr and rotate all the photos that were facing the wrong way or create a new group for them or write something fabulous on this site. Sorry. Get over it. Apparently, according to “What to Expect While You’re Expecting,” a pregnant woman’s body is doing more work when it’s sleeping than a man who is mounting climbing. So suck it! I’m tired!

But I promise, within the next few days the stories will come. Then you’ll probably want me to stop, but I won’t. Oh no, I won’t. And then, maybe you’ll feel bad about bugging me about pictures.

Nothing Personal

First off, I want to apologize for any typos, as I am typing without glasses or contacts. In the dark. And the dog will not GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! So a misspelling is just a given at this point.

Second, I owe the universe a premptive apology. I can’t control my bitchiness at this point, and it’s so tiring to even try. So if I’m insulting or mean to anyone, whether in person or on the phone or on the Internet, I apologize.

Ever since we found out I was growing this life-form in my belly, certain parts of my personality that I’ve always tried to hide have slowly been creeping out. Suddenly, I didn’t really give two shits about what anyone (friend, parent, religious guru) thought about what I should be doing. And suddenly, things became important to me that never seemed so serious before.

Case in point, my relationship with Trent. Though I’ve loved him for years, I guess I was never truly sure where out relationship was going. Wasn’t sure if we’d ever have a family. Worried about it a bit, but mostly just tried to get through each day and go to sleep happy. It worked well. I had my friends and my life and Trent.

All of that changed when he looked at me and told me that having the baby was the only option. After we had agonized over what we should do. When he looked me strait in the eye and told me this was what we were meant to do. This was our future. And when I was still pouting over my “life” lost, he was the one telling me that there are better things for me than a bar crawl or a Halloween keg stand. He has been the one with me every. single. day. Even when I’m the most miserable person on the planet. Not many people have had the chance to enjoy the hormonal freakouts. Most are wondering how I keep it all together so well. Inside I’m screaming. And he hears me.

Along with this has come a power that I never used to feel. I actually have been telling people what I really think. Maybe this is a side effect of pregnancy, I’m not sure. But I’ve told people to fuck off more times than I care to count. And not because I’m thinking it more or I’m a bad person. But because I have finally realized that there are much more important things for me to worry about right now.

So again, forgive me. It’s the hormones. But be ready. Because I probably won’t be as gullible as in the past. At least, for a few more months. Then, have no fear! The Bacardi will flow like a river. As long as I have a babysitter, of course.

What everyone needs to stop doing

Telling me to stop “freaking out” about the complete terror of being pregnant. I’ve known a little over a month. I have a full-time job that is extremely stressful. And I’m trying to plan a wedding. If I need to freak out, I think that’s completely valid. And if you don’t think so (and want to keep your left eye) then just keep it to yourself!

Pregnancy List 1

Things me and my hormones have cried over since this weekend:

1. Law and Order SVU
2. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and/or Three Wishes or any other show where poor people, people with dead husbands or people with sick kids get new houses.
3. Waiting until I am extremely hungry to look for food, especially when there is no food in the house
4. Dropping a full sample cake for the wedding on the floor. Upside down. And then the dog started eating it.
5. The giant hormonal zits covering my face.
6. The price of ivory pillows.

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