Today I am exactly one week away from my due date. Even crazier? If Taco John is not here by December 20th, we are inducing. That’s Monday. MONDAY! As in four days from now. Monday. THIS MONDAY! Holy crap.
Along with the obvious anxiety and fear about the impending birth (OMG I can’t believe I’m about to do this again!!!!), there is also the fear of the change this is going to cause our little family unit. I mean, really, three is the magic number, you know? What if the wonderful ease we currently have is never to be again with the addition of another person. So many (annoying) people have given me the “Oh, good luck, if I’d have known what the second one would be like, I would’ve stopped at one” comments, and you can’t help but wonder, what if you only get one good kid?
And I’m sorry, but how can anyone, ANYONE even compare to Lulu? My precocious, talented, amazing child who literally knocks me over daily with love and inspiration? I know that there will never be another her, so have I doomed my poor son to constantly live in her shadow. Will he feel less loved, less special, less important? Will Lu feel like she’s being replaced by a new baby? Will she love being a big sister, or will she resent the changes this is going to cause our family?
I know in the rational part of my mind that this will all work out. I know that some way, somehow, we will all adjust to a “new normal.” But I need to just be in it…enough of this waiting and worrying. When it is our daily reality, I know it will all make sense. Lucy will be an amazing sister, our family will only get stronger and I get to smell a yummy baby on a daily basis. Onward.