Too much information

So, I’m going to start this out by apologizing for the lack of writing lately. It basically comes down to the fact that after my work day is FINALLY OVER I am so tired I slip right into bed around 6 p.m. Some days, I’ll realize that if I don’t eat there will be some major stomach issues, but other days I just fall fast asleep within seconds. Party girl is officially out of the office indefinitely.

The other day Trent and I went to our first of what will be many uncomfortable appointments with the doctor. We had to get our first round of tests, pokes, prods, etc. in so we could be sure we were having a healthy baby. Trent decided he wanted to come, which should be a great thing, having the father of my baby actually wanting to be involved in the gruesome truths of pregnancy, but I was a bit nervous.

Just imagine your significant other, sitting right next to you as a slightly overweight nurse feels your breasts. Imagine looking over at him and seeing a little too much of a smile and possibly, just possibly, a wink. Imagine a PAP with Trent in the room. Then imagine him, or your boyfriend, asking all the embarrassing questions that you’ve never asked at the doctor because of the sheer humiliation factor. Some examples: “So, we can still have sex, right?” “Is lubricant safe?” “What types of lubricant are OK?” “Will the strawberry flavored lubricant hurt the baby?”

Dear lord, kill me now.


I’m taking this moment to say although I am still uncomfortable and miserable and hungry and nauseous…I am excited about the Bean. So everyone can calm down. No need to freak out by either phone or email. All is well.

The wedding…that’s another story. One that involves my mother and her reasoning that we need paper plates and Dixie cups because she wants to save money on the CHEAPEST DAMN WEDDING OF ALL TIME!!!

Wonderful Life

Hello fellow Crazy Bananas readers. This is the Bearded Wonder (AKA Trent) taking over for a post. Though I’m not quite as funny or witty as the author of this blog, I do have an important announcement to make. As most of you know, I impregnated my beautiful girlfriend approximately 7 weeks ago 2 days ago. What a magnificent life changing event this is and I thank you for all you support given so far, and in advance for all the times to come. I wanted to be the first to post a picture of our newly created life on the internet.


How cool is that? You could hear a little heart beating during the sonogram. During which I experienced some unfamiliar emotion for the first time that must be something only a father experiences.

However, a post on CB dot com wouldn’t be complete without something funny, View image (<--- Click Here for the Internet Challenged)

A new day

Today I woke up (late) and hopped (crawled) out of bed feeling as crappy, if more so, than yesterday. Poor Trent, who is feeling the brunt of my prenatal bitchiness, tried to make me a nice dinner last night, but it made me want to vomit. Normally, I would’ve scarfed it up in .37 seconds, but yesterday was not a fun day. Today, I woke up to a smell that I usually think is sexy, Trent’s cologne, which I bought for him BECAUSE I LOVED THE SMELL. Today, this smell, like so many others I used to love, made me want to blow chunks. I got to work thinking,”Fuck me, another fucking day of laying on the bathroom floor.” But the feeling just slipped away. I DON’T FEEL LIKE VOMITING! PRAISE THE LORD! Everyone needs to simultaneously knock on wood, right now!

So sick

Today is BY FAR the worst morning sickness day of ALL TIME, EVER, IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE (at least, so far in my pregnancy). I don’t think I have ever felt shittier, and mostly because there is no way to make the tummy flopping STOP! I would give absolutely anything to be at home, in my bed, with some soup and a movie. I can’t concentrate on anything, because the minute I start, I have to get up and VOMIT! Pregnancy blows!

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