10 Things

As another year of my life is about to come to completion, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve spent WAY too much time grumping around complaining about all the things wrong with my life. I’ve decided, as a birthday resolution, I’m going to try and spend more time being happy about all of the wonderful things in my life, instead of focusing on the things I’m not so happy about. Because when I am negative about my life, it doesn’t make my life any better. It’s the same, only grumpier.

So, in no particular order, here are 10 Things I’m Thankful For today:

Summer Nights at the Pool
Evenings at the pool in the late summer or early fall when all the pool bunnies have scattered. It’s still warm enough to be a great time, but it’s quiet and peaceful. You can sink underwater and hold your breath, and, for a second, in the muffled silence, feel 10-years-old again.

Sloan with a Broken Leg
My niece broke her leg a few weeks ago and is now scooting around in a wheelchair. Thank god she is going to recover, but it could have been a horrific ordeal. I’ve never before been so thankful for not only health, but happiness as well. When she bejeweled her cast and had her toenails done with little, orange flowers on them, her eyes lit up like they hadn’t since the accident. It was a very good thing.

Traveler
I am so blessed to have been able to travel the world and see things some can only read about in history books. I can tell you what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel, how to find an apartment in Portugal without knowing any Portugese and how to find David Hasselhoff or Vin Diesel anywhere in Europe without really trying. Now that’s what I call a life experience.

The Professor
She’s big, she’s bad, she’s horribly ignored by her humans who always seem to be running around with too much to do and no time to rub her belly. She’s Professor Molly McGoo, Ph.D. She is the dog we always wanted, the dog we always needed. She thinks she’s a cat and is sweet to our baby. And she makes me feel safe when Trent works late. Good dog.

Storm Rolling In
When a storm rolls in, bringing torrents of rain and darkness to the late afternoon. Perfect for napping.

Sunset at the Farm
Sometimes nothing seems more boring than Kansas. But other times, like when you get an amazing sunset out in the country, you realize how lucky you are to live in a place where things like this are possible. Somewhere over the rainbow, indeed.

Heat
In many instances the simple things, like having a working heater, can be lost in the shuffle of all of the needs and wants of daily life. But it wasn’t too long ago I lived in an apartment where, during the worst snowstorm of the year, Trent and I huddled up to the stove, wearing gloves, hats and coats, drank some rum and attempted not to freeze to death.

Just Kids
The boy drives me nuts sometimes, but we’ve really managed to make this thing work. And by “this thing” I mean our wonderful, wonderful life. Some days I can’t believe it, that we’ve managed to make it through all of the rough stuff in the past few years and end up in a place where I don’t only love him, I like him (most of the time). And, the feeling is returned 100% (most of the time). We’re both strong and independent, but we’ve found a way to be those things and be nurturing for each other. It’s a tender balance, and we work every day. When I look back at old photos of us I want to tell those two young, naive kids that it’ll all work out. And also, spend more time laughing and less time yelling.

Her
Her. Her kisses. Her dance moves. Her laugh. Her smile. Her sobs. Her whining. Her life. Her spirit. Her.

Bloggin’
This blog was something I started over three years ago. I had no way of knowing how it would affect my life. From devastating live changes to daily grumps, this site has seen it all. It’s led me to new outlets, like photography, that I probably never would have found without it. It is my voice. It is my therapist. Something I can turn to when I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. Who new a simple blog could add so much to a life.

For more things to be thankful for, click here.

The Mara Gets a Little Older

Tomorrow my faithful reader The Mara turns 24-years-old. In honor of this big birthday, I thought I’d write a little poem, lymric you might say, to accompany some images of dear, sweet The Mara.

At the Moro House
When we met, we were young and dumb,
partying through the night.

Old School
You always had the cutest haircuts,
your hair even used to be light.

St. Pattys
We’d go out in Manhattan all of the time,
especially on holidays.

Green Beer
We’d drink so much, get sick sometimes,
laughing all the way.

Licking
Your tongue, my dear, is so very long,
you love to stick it out.

Christmas 2006
When we get famous I’ll sell these pictures to E!
you will probably scream and shout.

Mara and Lucy
You a great Auntie to my little one,
even though you were scared she’d be hairy.

Mara and Baby Lucy
She loves you to death, laughs when she sees you,
even though you can sometimes be scary.

Mara Simpson
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo,
you look like a monkey and you smell like one too.

The. End.

Mama’s Girl

I haven’t really talked that much about my mother on this site because, to put it bluntly, we’ve had a rocky relationship. Now that I’m a mother, I tend to look at her flaws as my owns flaws. I’m more understanding that though she may have made some horrible decisions in parenting me and my brothers and sister (and sometimes still does), she was (is) doing the absolute best she can. And she really does love us more than most anything. Really. And that realization has brought us so much closer.

Today I took my mom to Costco, haven for bulk shoppers everywhere. She made the comment that she was talked into purchasing Platinum Cosco card, which only gives her savings if she buys giant flat screen TVs or other electronics, which she will never purchase because, really, she doesn’t need my father watching ESPN on a flat screen, giant TV…she’d never see him again! I cooly mentioned I would take the burden off of her by purchasing a 80GB video iPod in order to meet her electronic quota for the year.

And she freaking bought it for me. For no damn reason!

New iPod

I really do forgive that summer grounding for borrowing her shampoo now. Yipee!

12 Months (A Whole Freaking Year!)

Dear Lucy,

I’ve been agonizing for days over what I was going to write in the milestone post. As per usual, I have no idea, so let’s just see where my thoughts take us, shall we?!

Blue Eyes

Did I mention that you turned 1-year-old today? I hope so, because this is a VERY big deal. A year ago today I was laying in a hospital bed, my epidural was wearing off and I was scared out of my mind. I was so afraid I wouldn’t be able to do this. Afraid that being a parent would be too much for me. I wasn’t strong enough or smart enough and you’d end up a 17-year-old on the Jerry Springer show titled “How My Mom Ruined My Life.” Which, I suppose, could still happen, so if you decide to become a reality TV star, please remember how I breastfed you for a whole year. Seriously.

Farmers Market

You really decided to show us in the last few weeks that, HELLO, you are no longer a baby. You are a toddler, and we’d better not forget it! I constantly catch you sitting on the floor with a book (upside down) in your hands talking to yourself. And you’ve started this sumo wrestler style of walking. You stomp around with a giant, goofy grin on your face, just looking for something to pull down off a shelf or table. Baby proofing cannot contain you. Hell, Attica couldn’t contain you, little one.

dressed up

Yesterday was your first birthday party with friends and family, and of course, you were wonderful. Just stomping around in your little grass skirt and bikini top (did someone say Jerry Springer?) saying hi to everyone and attempting to escape to the outdoors. One really wonderful thing about you getting bigger, Lucy, is your ability to show no fear during times of extreme change or stress. You just dive right in, whether it’s going to a new person every day while I’m at work or attempting to crawl into your blue plastic boat and getting stuck or diving head first off the couch/bed/lap of whoever is holding you. You just laugh (and sometimes cry) and then move on. I wish I could be as flexible as you.

Stuck

Moments like these are when I really wish I was a better writer. I wish I could fully explain how profoundly you’ve affected my life so people could grasp what an amazing little thing you are. It’s just incomprehensible that you are the little bean in my belly, all grown up. And not only could I do all of those motherly things I was afraid I’d be horrible at, I’m actually pretty good at them. You have made me a mother, and a wonderful one at that. You have given purpose to my life that is so much more than I ever expected. Just the thought of you makes me smile. The smell of your yummy little baby head brings tears to my eyes. Watching you learn and change and grow. Seeing how smart you are and how much you remind me of your father. When you nuzzle up in the bend of my neck and wrap your arms around me and sigh so deeply…these are things that I cannot imagine living without. And I don’t remember how I survived without them.

hula

Happy birthday little monkey baby. I love you.

mama

Love,
Mama

The Wood Anniversary

I was just going to write a very thoughtful post on the anniversary of Trent and I’s first date, which was five years ago. But when I went to look up the symbol for a five-year anniversary on Google, I realized the symbol is wood. And I could just hear Trent laughing his ass off. So before you say it honey, yes, I know you’ll give me some wood tonight. Cue that one song from SNL about putting ones genitals in a box

Here are the flowers he got me without even realizing it was our anniversary. It’s fate.

Wood

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