What I’ll Miss

The other day I saw this article from a few years ago, and it really resonated with me. Before Nora Ephron’s death in 2012, she wrote this list of things she would and would not miss from this world (she had been suffering from cancer for a number of years before her passing). I’ve posted her list before, but this time around, I decided to put together my own list. There are so many beautiful and incredible things in this life, I feel so grateful to experience them all. And on the other hand, some things are just super dumb, and I most definitely will not miss them at all.

Headed to the farm, so I had to bust out my H&M wool hat like the fake cowgirl I am! #poser #dontcare #seriousfsce #selfie #cowgirl #kansas

Things I Will Not Miss
24 Hour News Channels
Angry People with Facebook Accounts
Blame and Shame in All of Their Forms
Holding My Tongue
Freezing Rain (also Hail)
Alarm Clocks
Traffic and Commuting
Smart Phones, Access to Email Everywhere

Things I Will Miss
Lulu’s Laugh
Tate’s Bunny Smile
Trent’s Bear Hugs
My Journal, Writing in General
My Camera
The Sun’s Rays on My Face
A Cool Rain
Snow Days
New Hats
Long Phone Calls
My Cup of Tea Before Bed
New Year’s Eve
Twinkle Lights
Holding My Breath Underwater

You Are Enough


(Image found via Bloom)

The other day I was on the phone with a friend who had one of those hard mothering days. We’ve all had them. I had one just a day ago myself. These are the days when I’m too short with Tate as he tells me for the twentieth time he “has a problem” as I’m trying to put him to bed. The days when Lulu disobeys a rule, and then when she gets caught, tells me she hates our family and wants to run away. The days when despite my greatest efforts, I can’t seem to do anything right. You know the ones I mean…the ones when bedtime can’t come early enough and when the house is finally still you want to curl up in to a ball and cry.

I posted this image on Pinterest that same day, and my friend said she was scrolling through and it really spoke to her. The holidays are a hard time for recovering perfectionists like me. Just being, enjoying and taking it all in never seems like enough. There is always one more card to send or gift to shop for. The the To Do List is constantly growing, and rarely are there more items crossed off than are added. Thinking about it makes my chest get all tight and a panicky sweat creeps over my brow.

But it’s true. What you did today, whatever it was, is enough. There need not be more. You can put the list to bed, and leave the rest for tomorrow. Or not. You can throw the list away if you want to. Just remember, you’re enough.

Be Brave

A friend of mine sent me this video the other day and told me she was thinking of me. You see, my friends, I have been having a tough time. And even though I’m a writer and a storyteller at heart, I have a hard time talking about when things are hard. I gloss it over and suck it in and before I know it, I’m like a shaken up bottle of soda, ready to explode. This is something I’m working on, talking about when things are hard and asking for help, and this wonderful friend knew this. Her note:

I was driving in the car with my daughter and she was singing this song and I thought of you!! All of us, really! xo

Let’s try to be brave this weekend, okay. Just for a day or two. All we really need is five minutes of courage, right? Five minutes could change everything.

Sleep Deprived and a Little Bit Crazy

How we are handling the boy who keeps climbing out of the crib....mattress on the floor FTW.

Both of my kids have always been champion sleepers. Even at 7, Lucy still needs a good 10 to 12 hours of sleep at night to function like a normal human. Tate is the same way. He’s always slept around 12 hours a night, and still takes 2 to 3 hour naps during the day. It’s their father’s genetics playing around in their bodies, they all love sleep.

But in the last few weeks, things have gotten a little nutty around our house. Our sweet boy has officially decided the crib is no longer his favorite place to be. He first climbed out a couple of weeks ago, in an angry fit that I hadn’t given him the appropriate amount of hugs before bedtime. It was a few days before he tried again, but now there is no containing him. And apparently those crib-tent things are no longer safe, so I can’t zip him in to his crib either. Grrr.

Our current solution (until we find the right bed for his room…which isn’t exactly in the budget since we just redid Lucy’s room two weeks ago) is the always classy mattress on the floor (demonstrated in the image above, and yes, he does sleep with five blankets and 10 stuffed animals). I suppose it is sort of working in that he’s not about to break his arm climbing the crib anymore, but he still isn’t sleeping very well. I will hear little noises at all hours of the night, and open the door to find him surrounded by his toys, wide awake like it’s Christmas morning. Twice I’ve checked on him in the middle of the night to find him asleep under a pile of books on the floor. And his new parlor trick is waking up at 4 a.m. and refusing to go back to sleep because it’s MORNING! GOOD MORNING LET’S PLAY CARS OR TRUCKS OR WATCH THOMAS THE TRAIN OR GO POTTY!!!!

Needless to say, I’m less than enthused.

So if you’ve seen me stumbling around the past few days or have been worried about my red eyes and all around crazy demeanor, please know it’s not you. It’s the kid’s fault. My god, it’s a good thing he’s cute.

Love Will Always Win

Today I sat at my computer watching the cursor blink. Flash. Flash. Flash. Nothing.


How can this keep happening? What is wrong with the world? Why? WHY?!

I used to get really angry at the injustice on our planet. I used to rage and scream and beat my chest until my heart rate was beyond safe. I would rant and yell and blame everyone.

But somewhere along the line, my reaction changed. I’m still mad. Deep down, I’m still so angry I could scream. But then I look around at all the good in the world, and a bit of love breaks through. People who ran towards the injured, disregarding their own safety. This Google spreadsheet where thousands of people in the Boston area offered shelter and help to those who couldn’t get somewhere safe. Runners who, after a grueling test of their bodies while running the marathon, went straight to blood donation centers.

It’s so true, when the worst of humanity bears it’s head, the best of humanity retaliates in mass force. Hate has always existed, but humans have persevered. Like Patton Oswalt said, so very eloquently, the good outnumber the bad in this world. If they didn’t, we’d be extinct. I’m holding on to that today, and remembering all the simple kindnesses that were afforded to me this week, especially on Monday as we buried my beloved uncle who had passed away and then came home to the news out of Boston.

I heard this song today, rolled down my windows and sang as loud as my horrid voice could bear. You should do the same. It just might help you to feel the love.

I’ve been in love with love and the idea of something binding us together.
You know that Love is strong enough.
And I’ve seen time tell tales about that systematic drug. Well yea, that heart that beats as one.
It’s collectively, unconsciously composed.

Do you feel the love?
I feel the love.
Come on, come on.
Lets start it up.
Let it pour out of your soul.

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