Don’t Blame Me, I’m High

Small problem: Bleach + Lungs + Small Space + No Sleep = One Sick Megan.

Bigger problem: A sick Megan is a crabby Megan.

Huge problem: Crabby Megan with stressful work schedule moving furniture is a crazy Megan who likes to see if biting comments really do hurt others.

I recommend staying away. Far, far away.

Addendum #1: Happy New Pope Day!

Addendum #2: Ben & Jerry’s One Sweet Whirled Ice Cream and Chedder Bites from Sonic is quite the meal. And it did actually make me feel less sick. Mmmmmm….cheese.

“The Grumples” Explained

1. When you’re in a bad mood and you can’t figure out why, you may have a case of the grumples.

2. When you’re at work and you just want to cry, you may have a case of the grumples.

3. When your boyfriend says you’re acting silly and rolls his eyes and you FREAK OUT and turn into the psychopathic, crazy, fanged, PMS woman…you may have a case of the grumples.

4. When you realize you owe $500 in taxes even though you made a total of $10,000 last year and you were a student, you may obtain a case of the grumples.

5. When you then realize that your car needs $1200 in repairs, then look out! Here come the grumples.

There are only 3 known cures for the grumples.

#1 – Watching Sixteen Candles while drinking bottles of red wine and crying, “How could they forget her birthday??? Those bastards!”

#2 – Getting drunk with your significant other and dancing around the apartment until the autistic kid who lives downstairs bangs on the wall.

#3 – Go out with best friends and perform the “Thriller Dance” at local bar/pub while onlookers cheer (or were they just laughing at us?) Tip: This only works in Manhattan.


Anyone who knows me knows I am quite the emotional rollercoster. It’s not that I am bi-polar, though there are several in my family that are and sometimes I can feel myself one step away from it, I just tend to be extremely moody. It probably is my fantastic genetic disposition, but I hate it. For example, yesterday was a fairly normal, uneventful day. For the most part, I was in an excellent mood. My trip to Dallas seemed to re-energize me and I was ready to live with a smile on my face. After work I headed to my sister’s house for a birthday feast and some chocolate cake (you know, the kind with fudge on the bottom…mmmmm….cake), ending the day at belly dancing, where my chocolate cake-filled belly was the star of class. It’s incredible how much a belly can move when it’s full of chocolate cake! Then I just got really grumpy. I don’t know if I was just too full of chocolate cake or if my conversation with an old friend depressed me or if it was because UNC was the National Champ or if its the fact that the vote against gay marriage in Kansas is today and my butt lived 20 yards across the border and I can’t vote (and trust me, we need as many of the votes against this law as we can get), but I turned into this giant pain in the ass! And I’m still grumpy this morning. I’ve even used the word “pussy” excessively today, and I hate that word! And it’s only 9 am!!! No one should use that word this early in the morning, unless you’re still drunk from the night before, in which case it is fully acceptable. Oh, and for even more ridiculous depressing crap click here

I mean seriously, does this crap make sense to anyone??? If this doesn’t make people in Kansas vote today, I don’t know if anything will. I mean, come on!!!

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