Archive for category: Blond

OK, because of family issues (look below), I haven’t had as much motivation to write as in the past. I know some of my readers are probably not very happy about this, so I will tell them, in the sweetest way possible, to SUCK MY RIGHT TOE!

Now, this story of the teeny, tiny watch is something I’ve been meaning to write about for a week. So it may be incredibly boring and pointless, but I need to get it out on the Internet so I’m not laying in bed at night thinking, “Damn, I need to write about that teeny, tiny watch on the Internet before I forget.” When I’m sleepy, I’m crabby. And when I’m crabby, hide your children and small pets! This is for the good of all people. The story of the teeny, tiny watch.

Last week we had our first volleyball game with the new team. This is a team that legends are made of. We are the Bad News Bears of the Shawnee Mission Beach Volleyball league. Consistantly drunk and fairly unexperienced at the actual game of volleyball, but who needs skill anyway. We’re just a rag-tag group of kids trying to learn the spirit of teamwork and unity. And we’re also trying to get as wasted as possible while playing a sport. Last week was a good first effort. But there is definitely room for improvement. I say, 7 pitchers tomorrow, team!

Anyway, the day after our first game, I looked in my purse and found a teeny, tiny watch. So small that I thought a little elf had slipped into my purse and accidentally left her watch behind. Turns out, this was no little elf, but our power hitter and all-around intimidating striker, Mikayla. Now, again, I wish I could post a picture of this watch for you, Internet, but the damn camera still has no batteries. Sorry. You’ll just have to take my word for it that this watch would probably be too small for a 6-year-old child.

Mikayla then informs me that this watch was a gift for her 16th birthday, and that’s why it is so small. Because apparently, at 16, Mikayla was the size of a garden knome, and since then, her wrists have not grown at the rate of her bodily growth.

The annoying thing about this is, I had freakishly large feet as a child, and have yet to grow into them. People comment on my freakishly large feet. I’ve never once noticed Mikayla’s freakishly small wrists. So annoying.

And thus, the tale of the teeny, tiny watch has been told. Was it worth the wait, Internet?

I am officially MEGA PISSED at the lack of comments lately. Just because I no longer loathe my job or my life does not mean that I am not an interesting person with strange perfumes seeping from my pores (see earlier entry). Does it mean I don’t have feelings? How am I ever going to make millions from Google ads if not even MY REAL-LIFE, DIDN’T MEET YOU ON THE INTERNET FRIENDS, don’t visit my site anymore. Sigh. I think I’ll go take a shot of gin now. I’m aparently much more intriguing while intoxicated. Or intoxincated, depending on the amount of shots ingested at present time.

Sigh. Again.