Sorry I ate those two loaves of bread. In hindsight, that wasn’t a great decision. Sorry I puked all over after I inhaled said bread. My bad. Oh, and I feel horrible about chewing up Tate’s favorite train. And Lucy’s Totoro slippers. And eating that banana off the counter. That was dumb. I didn’t mean to pee on the floor that time. Or the other time. Or the time after that. I think you should probably invest in some heavy duty paper towels, you know? And while we’re talking, I should apologize for chewing on the back deck too. And dad’s chess set. And mom’s leopard print heels. And the carpet. I think those extra holes give it a little character, don’t you? It looks more “lived in” now.
I will happily pay my debt with some late night movie watching and feet warming. I will try not to puke on your bed. No promises.
All my love,
Theodore Roosevelt Peters