Why?

I just found out a friend’s mother died this morning. I haven’t talked to this guy in a while, he’s actually more of a friend through a friend. We both left Manhattan and went to KU. He lived with Dan, the Samoan ex-boyfriend who everyone thought was a Mexican hippie, for a couple of years. He is also extremely close with Abbie, who has been mentioned several times on this site.

We all knew she was going to die. She’d been sick for a really long time. Everyone was waiting for it to happen. The doctors sent her home so she could be with her family at the end. Both of her sons didn’t want to leave the house for fear if they were gone when she passed they’d never get to say goodbye. That’s the one bright spot. Her husband and both of her sons were with her.

When things like this happen, you tend to reflect on yourself and your life. It’s selfish really, but I can’t help it. I am so blessed to be healthy and have all the people I love healthy as well. I don’t know what I’d do if a close family member or friend got sick. I know I wouldn’t be as strong as this family.

I can’t imagine what they’re going through. But I hope they know there are so many people who support them. That’s no consolation, of course, when someone you care for so deeply is lost. I guess, at least she isn’t suffering anymore. At least she’s at peace. But that really doesn’t make me feel any better. And I’m sure right now, it doesn’t really help them either.