I wasn’t a very good blogger this week. I did not follow my (mostly defunct) editorial calendar. I didn’t post regularly, even though a few months back I cut down my regular schedule to make it more manageable. This week, even three posts wasn’t do-able. And it wasn’t because I was swamped or overbooked. The opposite, actually. This week was what some people might call “lazy.” I call it lovely.
In the last six months I’ve been battling some stuff offline, stuff that I am not yet ready to talk about on the internet where everyone and my mom can see, but stuff that has certainly affected what I have written here. In the past, when things have been challenging in my life, I have responded by doubling my efforts. If life was hard, I was going to do everything I could to make it as perfect as possible. That would surely fix things, right?
Well, turns out perfection isn’t actually something any one person can achieve. Who knew? Also, this apparently means when being “perfect” is your goal, you will be disappointed 100% of the time. Well, crap.
But I have been learning lots of new skills in the last couple of months, and at the top of the list is “how to cope with bad stuff.” It’s amazing what a new perspective and smart people giving you advice will do for your psyche. And one of the things that has been pointed out to me time and time again is that I must. SLOW. DOWN.
So this week I was lazy. And honestly, it was the first time I had a week like this without realizing what I was doing. In the past I’ve had to physically force myself to slow down, but this week it came pretty naturally. It’s amazing how much more I ENJOY my life when I’m not running around like a crazy person. I can step out of situations and think to myself, “Wow, today is really incredible.” It’s like I’m a Buddhist monk, y’all!!! Okay, maybe not that serene, but I’m miles ahead of where I was before. Now, when I’m tired, I sleep. I don’t push through it like some nut. If the kids are driving me crazy, I put on a movie and take a break. We all need it and SURPRISE, more screen time won’t kill them. Having a happy, healthy mom is more important.
Unfortunately, this calm, cool, aloof “me” isn’t really translating to a fabulous blogging “me.” But I think you will all be okay. Just don’t expect perfection, and you won’t be disappointed.