For Andrea

Does anyone else think this little blog has been all doom and gloom lately? Well, sorry, for those of you that came here looking for fart jokes or stories about how my husband convinced me we needed a new DVD player in order to purchase a Playstation 3 (true story), but this just isn’t the week. We’ve had strokes, we’ve had heart disease, we’ve had pink eye and did I mention that I was eaten alive by chiggers in my lady areas? Because I was, and now Trent is worried I have herpes.

While you all have lives and hobbies and reasons to spend less than 30 hours per day on the Internet, I tend to spend bits of my free time catching up on my web-collegues, a.k.a. other bloggers. Whenever I mention a blog to someone as a good read, they automatically cock their eyebrow and pat me on the head like a puppy. Apparently “blogs” are not considered worth reading and “bloggers” aren’t “good writers.”

Now, this may be true in some instances (anyone on MySpace, I’m talking to you!), but there are so many talented people out there, and writing on the Internet gives them a chance to really express themselves, even if they do have the Average Joe life. And some of them (like her or her or her) do end up being recognized and are rewarded with book deals effectively transforming them into “real” writers.

But every now and then, there are stories that touch your heart in ways that you never thought a website could. I found the site Punk Rock Mommy via Toddler Planet (which I’ve written about before). Andrea was an amazing writer, mom and wife who was dealt one of the shittiest hands possible and somehow found the strength and courage to share her journey with the world. In her own words:

I decided to be nice and try to just laugh about it. Its not that I didn’t feel sad. I did to be sure. But mostly I just thought it was so cliche’. Very Lifetime television. Mom of six finally graduated from college finds out she has deadly cancer the NEXT day? Implausible. I made up a top ten list ala David Letterman. Top ten reasons its good that I have cancer. Some of them are very funny. I let myself cry only a little. I pray. And although I know that the next world is more wonderful than this one, I will hold on dearly and pray for God to let me remain here with my lovely children and wonderful husband. But I won’t be angry or bitter. Life is too short. Especially mine.

I have only followed Andrea’s journey for a few months, but I went back and read most of her archives. With everything that has been going on with my family in the last week, her words had new meaning for me. But when I logged on the other day and found the post labeled “My Last Blog,” I broke down in tears over my keyboard. In her death, Andrea felt the need to comfort not only her gorgeous children (aged 20 years to 1 year) and her husband, but all of us, whom she had never met. Again, her words:

I am sure that some of you are profoundly saddened by my passing. Death is far more about the living than the dead. But I believe in my whole heart that this is what was meant to be for us all. My friends rallied around us and supported us in every way imaginable. What an incredible gift. That was a lesson in selflessness for them. And in acceptance for my family. My children have many wonderful people to rely on. Their father, step father, grandparents, and friends. I have no doubt that they will be devastated. But in time these wounds will heal and reveal themselves to be battle scars that serve as a testimony to their inner fortitude. My children will move mountains.

Thank you all for participating in my life. For providing sweet words of encouragement and prayer. I pray that none of you will ever get cancer, it sucks. But if you do or someone you love does I pray some of my words are a comfort to you all. Have a wonderful life. I will have a wonderful afterlife.

© Jonathan Olshefski, 2008 All rights reserved

I feel so lucky to have read about Andrea through her own words and the words of her family. I hope if you have the chance, you will pop over to her site punkrockmommy.org and read about this incredible woman and her family. I won’t even ask you to pray for her, because I know that after reading only one paragraph of her words, you will automatically begin praying without any requests from me. This site was such a blessing this week, while I was so scared for my family, to read the words of someone who has been through hell and came out a better person for it, even in death. What a gift Andrea has given us.