When Questions Outnumber Answers

We are still unsure when these two will go back to school. Instead of our planned spring break road trip, we took a 24 hour jaunt to Oklahoma and back. We kept our distance from others and washed our hands often. We stopped at Sunnyside on the way home and talked about all the barriers kids experience to get an education, both in the past and currently around the world. We talked a lot about how white people (like the Ingalls family…this is the school house from the book “Little House on the Prairie”) took everything from Native Americans and how we have rewritten history to make them the “heroes.”

We are living through a really weird time right now, but I keep reminding myself there have been worse times. We will only get through this by doing the next right thing, one moment at a time. We must be kind to one another. We must push our leadership to do more. We must make smart decisions and do whatever we can to help, regardless of the inconvenience it may be to our lives. To all the mothers out there trying to keep our families safe, while also keeping them calm, I am with you.

I hope this may give some of us more empathy, so when we see mothers at the border with their kids or refugees in camps we understand how easily that could be us. What would you do to protect your kids? Leave a COVID-19 hot spot? Empty the shelves of your local store? Go anywhere to keep them safe? This is universal. We need to do what we can to be helpers, because someday (maybe sooner than we hope), we will be the ones needing help.


Dear Lucy,

Today you turned 13-years-old. Yes. THIRTEEN. As in teenager! What in the holy heck is happening? How can I have a teenage daughter? I don’t understand this at all, but it is apparently real life, so I suppose I’d better get used to it.

I have high hopes your teenage years, especially your younger teenage years, will be a bit easier than mine. Because, sweet girl, being a female teenager is hard. Thirteen is the first time I remember really having the realization that as a girl, I not only had very different experiences than my boy counterparts, but that I had to be constantly vigilant against threats. I think it’s something we all go through as women, but that doesn’t mean I wish I could remove it for you. When I was thirteen, I first noticed older men creepily staring at me in public spaces or at the pool, experienced boys snapping my bra, and other girls turning against me in cruel ways. I had prayed we would be a more evolved species by the time you got to this point, and I suppose we are, but I also know you will have to combat some of these same things. And it sucks. It really does. I’m so sorry we haven’t been able to fix this crap yet, but we will keep working on it, I promise.

Luckily, so far, you seem much stronger than I was at thirteen. You have absolutely no time for sexism, and you rage against other injustices, such as homophobia, xenophobia and racism. You are extremely outspoken and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You are definitely not Little Red Riding Hood…you are the Wolf! I have zero doubt you will change the world in magnificent ways, and I’m grateful to have a front-row seat to the show.

When you entered middle school this past fall, I worried so much about how it would all shake out for you, but so far, it has been mostly positive. While you’ve stayed close with a few friends from elementary school, especially through your participation in the middle school musical (where many of them had a role), you’ve also started to form a new tribe. Your new friends are eclectic, artistic, and creative. It can be so difficult as a parent to know your child now has friends and a life that have absolutely nothing to do with you, and that has certainly been true for me. Middle school was our first foray into independence, and I had to let go and trust that we’d done enough in those formative years to send you out into the world (and on to the school bus) with love.

Your story has officially transitioned. It is very little of mine, and 100% yours. You will continue to grow and learn and have experiences that don’t include me at all. This sort of breaks my heart. But it also excites me. Because you surprise me every day with your empathy, care, joy for life, openness to learn and stubbornness, and I know many of these characteristics are growing in you when I’m not there. I can’t even imagine how amazing you will be in a year, two years, five years…

I’m grateful to have been your mother and caretaker for the past thirteen years. I’m will always be a soft spot where you can land when things get to be too much. I love you more every day. My Lucinda Light…



Instagram Anxiety

Social Media Anxiety

Well, I should’ve known it would hit again…the dreaded social media anxiety. I am starting to see a pattern when it comes to my love/hate relationship with social media. It’s an endless loop that goes like this:

  1. Oh look, social media is fun! I can catch up with my friends who I don’t see every day! Cute photos of kittens! Look at that awesome living room design! I need that lady’s skirt!
  2. I should probably post more often. In fact, why don’t I have an editorial calendar. I have one for my work, why not for my personal? I need to make sure my content is varied and my photos have a color theme.
  3. OMG, if I see another photo of an influencer talking about daily struggles with a beautifully lit professional image of them staring at the window of an urban coffee shop, I’m going to puke.
  4. I will never be fit enough for Instagram. I might as well give up now.
  5. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Repeat.
  6. Ugh, I spend way too much time on my phone. I should really cut back.
  7. I apparently cannot cut back. I guess I should just delete the app completely.
  8. Wow, this break from social media has been so amazing! It’s been a few weeks, I bet I could login and just start slow.
  9. Go back to step 1. Repeat forever.

Now, I still don’t really know what the solution is for this ongoing issue, but I know it’s obviously not going away anytime soon. So I’ve been looking around to see if some of the wise women of the internet have any insight. So far, the best conversations on the topic have been via podcast. The Call Your Girlfriend Podcast did an entire episode on Instagram Anxiety, which is incredible. And the Raise Your Hand Say Yes Podcast did a series of episodes on social media breaks that were really insightful.

I’m still unsure what is next for me when it comes to my social media for this blog and personally, but I feel okay knowing I’m at least being thoughtful about the whole thing. I often wonder what I’d be able to get done if I spent less time worrying about social media, and in the last two weeks, I’ve realized how much more productive I am when when I just log off. So for now, I’m on step 7 and wondering if I will close the loop like always, or take a different path this time around.

Grammy Flowers

In the Meantime….

Grammy Flowers

Wow, friends, this has been a massive blog hiatus! But I promise, it was totally unplanned. You see, my 30 Days of Summer Photo Challenge launched at the beginning of June, and while I am so excited about all the participants (more than double what I anticipated when I started planning for this project), it’s taken up more of my time than I’d originally allotted. Paired with the fact that it’s SUMMER now, the kids are home from school, and I’m getting into my busy season for client photography, I haven’t had time to blog.

Now, listen…I know, okay! I’ve taught classes on blogging to photographers and entrepreneurs, and one of the first things I say is that in order to making blogging work, you have to make it a priority. But to be honest…right now it’s just not a priority. And that’s okay too! As a blogger, you’ll go through ebbs and flows in terms of your time, priorities and business. I’m excited to share a few of my latest photo sessions with you in the upcoming weeks, as the 30 Days of Summer Challenge winds down. I also have some fun personal posts to share (We went on a roadtrip! We had dance camp and theater camp! We got a KITTEN!).

Until then, make sure you’re following me on Instagram to get daily updates on both the challenge and life in general! I’ve have a ton of people contacting me because they wanted to join the 30 Day Challenge, but missed the sign ups. The best way to make sure you don’t miss out next time (next time?!) is to sign up for the newsletter and get all of my updates delivered directly to your inbox! Hope you’re all having a fantastic summer!

Crazy Bananas Video Blog

The Crazy Bananas Video Blog : What Do You Want to See?

First of all…keeping it real…I did one AMAZING take of this first, little video blog. I’m not a natural in front of the camera, so there were so many attempts before I got through the whole thing without flubbing. But then, it happened. The PERFECT take! Hooray! I started to do one more just to make sure, but after I started stuttering over my words again, I decided to go with perfection and be done for the day.

Which was all fine and good until I sat down to edit the video and guess what?! That perfect take? The one where I didn’t goof or say the word “maybe” one million times?

I didn’t hit record.


I have audio of the one perfect take, just to remind me of how perfect it was, but apparently I didn’t record any video. Typical!

So here is my not-perfect, flubbery, goofy second-best take. Perfection is the enemy anyway, right?! (Right.)

I’m so excited to be video blogging again! You might remember my attempt at getting the video blog going a few years ago, but I just didn’t have the time, energy or equipment to make it work. I am learning that when I enjoy doing something creative, especially when it’s different from what I usually do, it really helps me grow as an artist and content creator. So instead of worrying about making a life-altering video blog, I’m just gonna do exactly what I do here on Crazybananas.com…in video form!

But before we really get started, I need to know what YOU want to see? Last time around I got a ton of requests for photography tutorials, style tips, and in-depth discussions about my favorite Doctor Who actor. I definitely plan to share all of that, but what else sounds fun? Lately I’ve been writing more about healthy living and recovery, so I’d love to cover that in the vlog. I’m also down for sharing tips and tricks for B+ moms like myself. What else sounds good?! I want to hear what YOU want! You can leave your comments and ideas below, or head on over to my YouTube channel or my social media profiles and leave me a note there!

Here’s to many imperfect video blogs in the future!

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