Nerd Herd Thursday – The Dreaded Twilight Post

I know, I know. You’ve all been waiting very patiently for my post on the movie adaptation of Twilight. You’ve probably been fretting so much, worrying what I would say…how have you made it through such tough time?

Well, here we go. I went and waited in line like a total maniac a few weeks ago to see the Twilight movie on the very the day it premiered in theaters. Mistake #1: What I just said. Waiting in line for a movie the day it opens when said movie is geared toward tween girls is just plain dumb. Idiotic. Not because it made feel like a total doofus for liking something they did (we all know I’m a 13-year-old girl trapped in the body of a mid-twenties adult), but because their voices made me want to claw out their eyeballs. The screaming, MY GOD, the screaming! Every single time a character from the book walked on to the screen (Seriously, girls, Eric the dorky human kid? Really?) they all went insane. I think I missed half the movie due to the damage to my eardrums.

And also, they didn’t compliment me on my Edward Cullen Dazzles shirt, and that’s just plain rude.

Mistake #2: Expecting the movie to be like to book. I mean, did Harry Potter teach us nothing?! It’s totally understandable that the people who make movies can’t take one giant, gushed-over novel and get every, single piece in to their films. But still, they did take arguably the most important scene in the entire book and completely change it. Which was annoying.

Mistake #3: Forgetting the book is totally cheesy. Twilight may be the mushiest, silliest book of all time. And I’m a huge fan. I love all the goofy lovey dovey moments, I love how obessed the characters become with one another. That’s part of the draw to such young readers. To them (and once to me…and you) love seemed like such a wonderful, all encompassing, soul wrenching thing. There was a time in my life when love didn’t involve yelling about who did the dishes last and organizing carpooling schedules. Once upon a time I really thought that falling in love would kill me with all of it’s angst. Now, of course, jaded and old, I know it’s not really like that. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to retreat back in to that time, especially when it involves something supernatural. This movie just didn’t give me the same retreat the book did. While the book was extrodinary silly in spots, you never felt like you were going to laugh outloud…not so true with the movie, where the audience was cracking up during really pivotal plot points. Sort of killed my buzz.

So, with these mistakes in mind, I headed back to the theater (with a person who will remain annonymous to protect her dignity, heh) to see Twilight for the second time. And guess what? It wasn’t so bad. Yes, the acting was still cheesy at parts. Yes, Edward does awkwardly stare at some points when he is supposed to look in love and somewhat happy about it. Yes, Bella is missing so much of the sarcasm I love. But the baseball scene is pretty awesome.

And I love Bella’s dad, Charlie, he’s a character that is actually much better in the movie than in the book. The same goes for Bella’s human friends. And of course, there’s that one scene when Bella and Edward walk into the school and he looks like a younger, hottter version of James Dean. Not too shabby. And of course, the music is pretty damn amazing.

I guess I’m happy they’ve decided to make the sequel, New Moon, because it can only get better (right? RIGHT?). I’m a huge fan of Jacob (the character in the book, not the cheesy actor that played him) who is basically my best friend from high school transformed in to a Native American/Animal, and I’m excited to see what they do with the next storyline. I hope they can figure out whatever equation they need to keep the movie good, but not totally cheese-tastic.

Somehow I doubt it, but we shall see. And when I say we, I obviously mean me. By myself. Fulfilling my nerd herd quota.