Happy Birthday Abbs!

Yes, I know today isn’t actually Abbie’s birthday, but today is the day of celebration, so I thought it’d be a good day to write about her. Now what can I say that will explain the vast, complicated creature that is one of my best friends? Well, she has a knack for telling bad jokes, she sings whether or not it is requested and she enjoys talking about her boobs, her ass and any “zits” she may have (the random quotes are to indicate her idea of a zit is a freckle, which is entirely annoying to those of us who do have HUGE volcanos on our faces). She has a pup that pees on her daily, she’s always sick and she is TOTALLY the man of the house (sorry Luke, but you know she’s the boss).

I can’t adequately describe her in words…but I can embarrass her in pictures.

Happy Birthday Abbs! Have fun being old!

Moving Sucks

I am a resident of 1304 W. 50th no more!!! After long weekend of bleached out lungs, decomposed rodents, and dust dating back to 1903, we’ve finally moved the mound of crap that is our livelihood to our new home.

Yipee! I’m doing the “New House Dance” as we speak. “Who’s house? Megan’s house! Say what? Who’s house? Trent’s house!” Run DMC should be so proud. Their work has now become fodder for a fairly average writer who seems to believe she is God’s gift to hip hop music and all those who worship a large ass.

Anyway, I had several fun stories for everyone, but I’ve forgotten them all in my sleepless existance. In short, moving sucks, Trent’s mom is the coolest woman alive (even I wouldn’t pick up a decomposed rat for my kid, not that I have a kid, but you know what I mean), and I love the Home Depot!

Click here for more pictures of the move. Or click here for pictures of Trent & I’s trip to the Royals game. Just in case you’re feeling random. I know I am.


Give way to Scooby Doo (very cool) and underdogs (cooler when I wasn’t the one giving them). Welcome to babysitting my sister’s 4-year-old triplets for a weekend. We encountered one large insect (a wasp in Dylan’s room), about seven temper tantrums and 675 episodes of Scooby Doo. I’d label this one a success. And Sloan (aka Her Macness) learned of the joy that is my beautiful Mac and Photoshop. I am the coolest babysitter EVER!!!

Click here to see more.

A Few Requests

I think anyone who has a pet should be required, when talking about their pet, to remember that most people don’t give a crap about their pet and just want their paycheck without any lip! (This includes myself, if and when I ever get my new puppy. You all must keep me true to my word, because I’ve already begun to turn to the dark side).

I think the Backstreet Boys must seriously reconisder their attempt at a reunion. It scares me when I am driving home at 11:00 at night and hear a love song on a VERY BAD RADIO STATION because the one that I like only plays Loveline at night (and by the way, I’m pissed about that as well) and I hear the Backstreet Boys. I am transported back to high school and am thinking of the sweaty south gym with it’s rubber floors and crepe paper. Frightening thoughts.

I am sure that all players in the Shawnee Intermediate Sand Volleyball leauge should have mercy on my team and my arms (and my legs and my feet and my belly) and drink at least 5 beers before playing us. We must end the 6 game streak.

Thank God for hotdogs, beer, summertime, the Royals and camera phones.

Thank God for mini bottles of Bacardi. And thank God for Justin Timberlake. Yes, I like Justin Timberlake. Yes, I understand he’s kind of the same deal as the Backstreet Boys. And no, I don’t care.

Why am I so confused?

“I’m not sure when I’m coming to Manhattan next because I just realized I have to move in the next two weeks.”

“You just realized that?!”

“Yeah, I mean I knew I was moving, but I just didn’t think about the fact that I had to get my stuff out of this apartment by a certain time.”

“I want to play polo.”

“What, like on a horse?”

“Yes. I want to play polo”

“Do you even know how to ride a horse?”

“Megan, I can’t remember yesterday, how am I supposed to remember if I’ve ridden a horse?”

“I don’t think you’d forget something like that.”

“I want a crown.”


“I want a crown.”

“I thought you wanted to play polo?”

“I do. Are you listening to anything I’m saying?”

Yes, Mara. I listened to every word, and I still have no idea what you were talking about!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...