Kindness and Fun

The other night Lucy and I were laying in bed and I asked her how her day was. She was messing around with some stuffed animals and offhandedly said, “It was okay, not great though.”

I asked her what happened and she shared she had her feelings hurt by a friend. When she told me what happened I asked her how she felt about it. She seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing, and I wanted her to know it’s okay to be sad or upset. I feel like much of my childhood was spent ensuring everyone knew I was okay.

Me, I’m okay. Are you okay? Are we okay? Is everything okay? Okay. Good.

When I was sad or angry or upset, I learned at a young age to stuff it deep down until I couldn’t feel it anymore. Except, of course, that never really works, does it? Bad feelings don’t go away by ignoring. You have to face them! And it took me about 30 years to figure that one out. That’s a lot of years of stuffing and having resentment that easily spiraled out of control. I don’t want that for my kids. I want them to know being angry is natural and normal. Being hurt sucks, but it’s worse to pretend you’re okay when you’re really not.

So sitting in bed with Lucy, knowing she must feel hurt and sad, and hearing her say “I’m okay,” really triggered me. I asked gently, “Are you sure you’re okay? It’s alright to be upset. I’d probably be upset if I were you.”

She looked up at me and said, “Yeah, mom, I was upset. I didn’t say anything though. I’m all about kindness now! And fun! So I’m not mad anymore. I’m just gonna have fun instead.”

Well, crap, you guys. I was just schooled in the arena of mental stability by a 7-year-old. It seems I still have much to learn. At least I have the best teachers around me.