How to Combat Writers’ Block, Part I

You sit down at your laptop, ready to go. It’s time to write, y’all! Let’s do this thing!

Wait, it seems your Wifi is down. Sure, you could head over to your desktop, which has a direct connection, but then how would you write while concurrently watching last week’s Mindy Project for the third time? Sidenote: Is there anything better than Danny reading Bridget Jones Diary to Mindy in a hospital bed AND doing a woman’s British accent while doing it? No, there is not. Okay, so first watch the Mindy Project, then go fix the Wifi. Extent of your IT know how is “unplug the device.” Do that. Check connection again. It’s still down.

Realize you don’t own a copy of the movie version of Bridget Jones Diary. Find this fact very disturbing. Get on your TV and order a rented digital version for $2.99. Start watching. Have intense internal debate about Renee Zellweger’s weight gain for the role of Bridget. Remember you were promised s’mores at the cookout last night, but they were never received. Go upstairs and get grahams, marshmallows and chocolate. Set to make s’mores over a Glade scented candle. Realize the hilarious insanity of this situation. Also, realize you still haven’t written a word on your blog. Wonder if a blog even exists if no one writes it. Feel quite existential. Inhale Glade scented s’mores.

Decide to attempt writing a post via your iPhone. It takes approximately one million years and about a thousand autocorrections before you’re done. You think, “screw it,” but instead of hitting delete, you hit publish by mistake.

Well, okay then. Here we go…