Crazybananas

Cappie from Greek. Huhmuna huhmuna…yowza.

Runner up: Baze from Life Unexpected.
Third place: Sid from Skins.

(I think I have a type. Is it that obvious?)

By the way, Trent installed a TV in our bedroom. Betcha couldn’t tell, huh? Until the temperature rises above 20 degrees, I think I’ll be spending most of my time there. So if you need me, you know where to find me.

I have had a hard week.

It seems like everything that could go wrong, did.

1. Workload exploded.
2. Family member got really, really, scarily sick.
3. My medical condition got worse.
4. I pulled my shoulder muscle during yoga.
5. There was no wine in the house, so I had to have a glass of nasty honey-flavored whiskey that someone left over Christmas.
6. I gained five pounds.
7. Lucy wants to move to her friend Haven’s house ’cause “They are way more fun.”
8. I opened a can of concentrated grape juice and spilled it all over the kitchen floor. And I can’t get it clean. It’s impossible. It will be sticky for all eternity.
9. I literally left a bag with three items on top of my car and drove out of the Target parking lot. With people laughing and pointing. One of the items was a jumbo box of tampons. It was awesome.
10. My dog somehow got into Lu’s Valentine’s candy and is now acting like she’s on crack.

Yesterday Trent was all, “What is up with you?” And I responded, “What?! You want me to go eat a f***ing rainbow or something!” He’s so lucky to be married to me.

So I’m trying to perk up a bit today. Well, after this morning with the grape juice and the floor. That included some sobbing, but now, NOW, I’m ready to bring some sunshine into my life and stop listening to The Rosebuds on repeat. And The XX. And Bon Iver. And Fleet Foxes. Because that depressing crap is making me want to sacrifice myself to the wolves, and not the good kind that turn into hot, young Native American vampire killers.

Instead, I’m dancing in my car. Flailing around to some funky beats. And I think it’s catching.

(Music is Odessa by Caribou)

I feel better already…

Marriage is work. Hard, hard work. Those two people up there? Well, they had no effing clue. And thank god for that, or else we probably wouldn’t have made it. Here’s hoping if you have a steady Valentine, you’re getting ready to show each other some love. And if you don’t, here’s hoping you feel like those two crazy kids pictured above. Happy, naive and open to whatever the future holds.

To my Valentine, thanks for putting up with me. I will be proud to stand by your side during the zombie apocolypse. Mostly because you’ll be the one with a well-thought out plan. But also because I love you. And you’re cute. XOXO.

A few weeks back, my friend and fellow watcher of awful television, Lane, sent me a quick email. It seems Miss Lane often attends book signings at a certain bookstore in Kansas City, especially for gifts for her young nieces. And this certain bookstore now sends her emails about upcoming writers that will be doing book signings in the city. And who was coming to our frozen tundra, you ask?

Ummmm…..yeah. Right?

LC. Lauren Conrad. From The Hills. Lovers of crappy TV unite! And begin to geek out!

So Lane and I decided to attend this very special event, where our sure to be BFF Lauren would be signing her new novel, “Sweet Little Lies,” which is basically The Hills written down on paper and bound in a hardcover. Whatever, it’s LC! Squeeee!!!!!

As the event got closer, Lane and I started trading emails about how we were going to charm Miss Conrad into being our new best friend so she would eventually ask us to join in her new reality show and we’d become rich and famous. Obviously. One particular email from Lane pointed me to the site Go Fug Yourself dot com, where they had featured LC and a fabulous yellow coat.

I immediately replied:

To: Lane
From: Megan
Sub: Re: A Little Something

DUDE! I totally have a coat that is almost, just like that! I’m gonna wear it on Monday, and she’ll be all, “Wow, girl, that coat is amazing!” And I’ll be all, “I know, right? Let’s be best friends forever!” And then I’ll fly off to Paris and have lunch with famous designers and she’ll probably write a character for me in her new book.

That, or she’ll call security. It could go either way.

Then Lane sent back to me:

To: Megan
From: Lane
Sub: Re: Re: A Little Something

OMG! You have a coat like that??? Why have I never seen it? I swear I will not steal it from you. (maybe not)

Which is when the backtracking started. See, my coat is not exactly like LC’s. It’s shorter, and a different color yellow, but hell, it’s close enough and you bet your collection of Star Trek memorabilia I was gonna wear it.

When we arrived at the event venue (a church….weird) I noticed that Miss Lane had gone home to change into some stylish outfit, while I was wearing my classic work attire (black pants, random top, salt/sand from the snow splashed all over my backside) with my famous yellow coat. Which, I may add, is totally a Fall coat and I was freaking freezing. But I knew my friendship with LC was in jeopardy, so I sucked it up.

The two of us acted like complete psychos while waiting for LC to arrive. We giggled. We tweeted. We made fun of all the other attendees. We discussed what the heck we were going to say to LC. We laughed hysterically. We shot dirty looks at the girls sitting next to us with their YSL bags and LV coats.

And Lane made fun of my coat. She tweeted about my coat. Laughed at my assertion that it looked anything like the coat we’d seen LC wearing on that fashion website.

Our ticket numbers were finally called and we got in line to get our books signed. All the while nervously trying to figure out what we were going to say to LC (who, I might add, looks exactly like she does on TV, exactly). We got up to the front, where some lady brought her kid and totally charmed LC and her entourage, and I silently cursed my decision not to bring Lulu. Lane (that creep) snuck behind me so I’d have to go first. Crap! Now what? I walked up to the table, and handed my book to one of LC’s assistants, who passed it on to LC to sign. She looked up at me, and very nicely said hello. Here is an abridged version of our conversation:

LC - Hello!
Me - Um, hi…(looks down like a freak show)
LC - How are you?
Me - Fine, um, thanks.
LC - I love your coat!
Me - (blink, blink, blink)
LC’s Assistant - Yeah, it looks a lot like yours (to LC). The one from the other day.
Me - (Look at Lane….blink, blink, blink)
Lane - (Hands her book over to be signed) Great, now I’ll never hear the end of this.
Me - I told you!!!
Lane - She wore it because she said it looked like yours and I told her it didn’t.
Me - (Dances off the stage)
LC - Well, it is a little darker.
Me - (Dies. Boom. The End.)

Back in the audience, Lane and I couldn’t freaking believe what had just happened. I quickly tweeted my version of events so I wouldn’t forget…and Lane replied with the following:

So unfair. I will never hear the end of this. Ever. Seriously.

And then this….

Also, I hope everyone likes the coat, because I think she’ll be wearing it until she’s 80.

I mean, I guess I didn’t get invited to Paris or New York or L.A. But still. I think the night turned out better than anticipated.

My response:

@laneodle, suck it!!! I win at life!!!

I am nothing, if not classy.

It’s snowing.

Again.

And so, I made a playlist to listen to while I watch these giant flakes fall outside my window. Enjoy. Then go book yourself a vacation someplace warm. Do it for me.

(Music props to @kuirishgirlie and @TrustTheDust…without their daily Blips I’d find it very hard to get through the day)