Crazybananas

Today it is snowing. Two days ago it was 70 degrees at night and today the streets are covered in ice and it’s beginning to snow. So I’m spending my snow day stuck inside with a teething baby and catching up on all of my internet reading that I’ve missed out on during the holiday break. And I just had to share this with everyone…so funny…

Yes. Breasts cause people to sink. In fact, women’s breasts are killing people all across the country. How many headlines do we need to see before we take action? “Nursing Mother Kills Twelve at Water Park.” “Local Man Views Nip, Drowns in Slurpee.” “Raised Eyebrows Caused By Breast Feeding Increase Chance of Headaches, Bad Moods, Brain Cancer.” Nursing women are killers, and they must be stopped.

Why do babies have to grow up? And get teeth? And wake up at 3 a.m. crying hysterically because of the pain in their mouths? And not nap because of the pain in their mouths? And act EXTREMELY crabby because of the pain in their mouths?

And why is it sleeting/snowing today? Last night I walked down to the plaza and it was 70 degrees!

you leave the room and find the baby in the fireplace when you return?

Or when someone leaves your house by telling you they are going to go wake up their girlfriend and try to get some sex?

The holiday season has begun. And I’m already tired, stuffed and ready for January 2nd. Of course, I love spending time with family and friends back in good ole’ Manhattan, Kansas, but it’s just so exhausting! I’m ready to crash for the next week. In the spirit of the season, I’d like to share with all 3 of you (my lovely readers) the things I’m thankful for this year.

1. My gorgeous, little family.
2. Britney dumping K-Fed.
3. White-chocolate-covered oreos.
4. Re-runs of Dawson’s Creek so I can remember Katie Holmes when she was the sweet, young, un-scientologist Joey Potter.
5. Emmit Smith’s win in DWTS!