Today was almost worse than last Sunday. At least then, I had no warning. I didn’t have to agonize over a decision about Cali. This week was so hard. Coming home and not seeing her gorgeous face and curly, wagging tail. Looking at pictures of us in the snow from only a week before. It was hard to believe that she is really gone, forever. It seemed like every time I thought I was doing better, something would happen to push me right back into my sadness. My sister gave me a poem about where dogs go when they die, and though it gave me some hope I may see my baby again, it just makes me cry over and over. I was actually doing pretty well by the end of the week, and then today I had to take Jack, our foster puppy, to the kennel. It was the plan all along, we would take Jack to the kennel as soon as they had room for him, but I didn’t think I would lose Cali along the way! Taking Jack there was like losing her all over again. He wasn’t her, and he could never be her, but having him here made it alot easier to get through this week. Last night he stayed by my side all night, as if he knew what would happen today. He even slept in my bed with me. Trent’s out again, and I’d forgotten how alone I feel in this apartment when there is no one here. I can’t believe I’m crying over another dog! I just felt so much safer with them here. Like no one could ever hurt me with my pups protecting me. I dunno, now I’m just rambling because I’m upset. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has helped me out this past week. You all have been so supportive and wonderful, and thank you for understanding how hard this loss was (and still is) for me to take. You all could’ve just told me to get over it, but you didn’t , so thank you. Love you:)
