Today I was driving around running errands until I thought my head was going to explode. It seems that ever since the big move there is a never ending list of items needed IMMEDIATELY from Home Depot or Target or Pier 1 or World Market…the list could go on. Anyway, I’m not a big fan of all these errands, so by the end of the day I was understandably irritated. On my drive home I was cut off by a nasty old car covered in bumper stickers. I thought, “I was just cut off by some damn hippie!” but then I noticed what these stickers were saying. The first – Terri was murdered. The second – A country that kills its children is a country without hope (Pope John Paul II). My thoughts then turned to “damn Republican” and as I drove by I couldn’t help but look to see who this person was. I was even thinking about giving this person a nasty “I’m a liberal and I don’t like your stickers” look, just because I’m such a rebel. I turned with every intent to glare, and I see…a nun. In full nun gear. Rosary and all.
8 years of Catholic school and I’m glaring at a bad driving nun who is pro-life. The worst part is I actually felt guilty. Now that is the true sign of a Catholic. A nice big helping of guilt. Just delicious.
I’m not a very good storyteller. I try, but usually I’m the only one laughing. But when it comes to family tales, I usually win the war of words (except when Mara’s uncle is chasing housewives down the street while she’s attempting to hide her smoking and suspended license from her grandfather).
Overview:
Dad and Mom met in college. According to her, he was a dumb jock with no future, who the priests hated. She was a pure-as-gold angel of a freshman, who no one thought should date the “big man on campus.” She got drunk at a party with him, then taught him how to spell. Then they got married. Then they had kids. Then he became very, very smart. Went to Stanford, Oxford and finally settled in Manhattan, Kansas. He also did some work for NASA. He also made it impossible for any of his kids to seem successful, because seriously, he worked for fucking NASA!!!
When their two kids were in high school they decided to have two more. No one can figure out why. This is where I came into the picture.
Here’s where the amusement starts. My mom starts grounding people for using her shampoo (a whole flipping summer!), becomes the CEO of QVC and then moves to Florida because she hates Kansas. Dad stays in Kansas. No, they are not divorced. Yes, it is weird.
Now my dad, drug induced brother, and uncle are living in Manhattan while my mother inhabits her double-wide in Florida.
Now we all have a basis for the rest of my family stories. Godspeed and goodnight.
http://www.crazybananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Crazy_Banans_Logo_WebsiteBanner.png00Meganhttp://www.crazybananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Crazy_Banans_Logo_WebsiteBanner.pngMegan2005-05-06 10:33:562005-05-06 10:33:56The Family Gal
I used to never sing in my car for fear of seeing someone I knew and being humiliated. Then I moved to KC, with highways and tons of people and cars, so I sang my ass off.
Today, I was jamming out to Britney on my iPod while driving. Yes, I know that statement is embarrassing in itself. I hear some asshole honking at me, and I’m thinking “Who the hell is that!? What’s his problem?”
I look over to see someone from my volleyball team (now 0-15) flipping me off and laughing.
I then quickly flipped the song to Coldplay. As if that would make this situation much more acceptable. Or high-class. My mother would be proud.
Oh Jesus.
/2 Comments/in Blond /by MeganToday I was driving around running errands until I thought my head was going to explode. It seems that ever since the big move there is a never ending list of items needed IMMEDIATELY from Home Depot or Target or Pier 1 or World Market…the list could go on. Anyway, I’m not a big fan of all these errands, so by the end of the day I was understandably irritated. On my drive home I was cut off by a nasty old car covered in bumper stickers. I thought, “I was just cut off by some damn hippie!” but then I noticed what these stickers were saying. The first – Terri was murdered. The second – A country that kills its children is a country without hope (Pope John Paul II). My thoughts then turned to “damn Republican” and as I drove by I couldn’t help but look to see who this person was. I was even thinking about giving this person a nasty “I’m a liberal and I don’t like your stickers” look, just because I’m such a rebel. I turned with every intent to glare, and I see…a nun. In full nun gear. Rosary and all.
8 years of Catholic school and I’m glaring at a bad driving nun who is pro-life. The worst part is I actually felt guilty. Now that is the true sign of a Catholic. A nice big helping of guilt. Just delicious.
The Family Gal
/1 Comment/in Family /by MeganI’m not a very good storyteller. I try, but usually I’m the only one laughing. But when it comes to family tales, I usually win the war of words (except when Mara’s uncle is chasing housewives down the street while she’s attempting to hide her smoking and suspended license from her grandfather).
Overview:
Dad and Mom met in college. According to her, he was a dumb jock with no future, who the priests hated. She was a pure-as-gold angel of a freshman, who no one thought should date the “big man on campus.” She got drunk at a party with him, then taught him how to spell. Then they got married. Then they had kids. Then he became very, very smart. Went to Stanford, Oxford and finally settled in Manhattan, Kansas. He also did some work for NASA. He also made it impossible for any of his kids to seem successful, because seriously, he worked for fucking NASA!!!
When their two kids were in high school they decided to have two more. No one can figure out why. This is where I came into the picture.
Here’s where the amusement starts. My mom starts grounding people for using her shampoo (a whole flipping summer!), becomes the CEO of QVC and then moves to Florida because she hates Kansas. Dad stays in Kansas. No, they are not divorced. Yes, it is weird.
Now my dad, drug induced brother, and uncle are living in Manhattan while my mother inhabits her double-wide in Florida.
Now we all have a basis for the rest of my family stories. Godspeed and goodnight.
Embarrassed
/0 Comments/in Blond /by MeganI used to never sing in my car for fear of seeing someone I knew and being humiliated. Then I moved to KC, with highways and tons of people and cars, so I sang my ass off.
Today, I was jamming out to Britney on my iPod while driving. Yes, I know that statement is embarrassing in itself. I hear some asshole honking at me, and I’m thinking “Who the hell is that!? What’s his problem?”
I look over to see someone from my volleyball team (now 0-15) flipping me off and laughing.
I then quickly flipped the song to Coldplay. As if that would make this situation much more acceptable. Or high-class. My mother would be proud.